By apurva 
Life is full of challenges. From the adversity we face in everyday life, to our interactions with difficult individuals and sudden roadblocks, how we respond to the adversity can shape the path of our journey. That is where our emotional resilience comes in; the ability to bounce back from setbacks, adapt to change, and continue moving forward.
Emotional resilience isn’t about avoiding or suppressing emotions but about understanding, accepting and moving through emotions in a way that leads to growth, balance, and success. Especially for children and adults alike, building this skill is essential for a fulfilling life. Let’s explore emotional resilience, why it’s key to success, and how to cultivate it at any age.
The Core of Emotional Resilience
Emotional resilience is fundamentally the capacity of dealing with life changes, stresses and pressures without falling to pieces. It’s about staying grounded when the storms of life roll in. Although certain people may appear to be more resilient than others by nature, the good news is that emotional resilience can be developed over time.
When we think of resilience, we think of people who have fallen down on hard times, yet keep getting up—those who refuse to let failure or disappointment become the story of their lives. These people have the capacity to process emotions in a healthy way and come out stronger on the other side. But what’s often overlooked is that emotional resilience also involves self-awareness, emotional regulation, and a mindset that embraces learning from mistakes.
Emotional Resilience as a Key to Success
The road to success is not linear. It comes with its highs, its lows and everything in the middle. We need to be emotionally resilient if we want to survive these hardships, rather than just giving up. Without it, the fear of failure, rejection, or criticism can stop you right in your tracks. So, how does emotional resilience promote success?
1. Adapting to Change
Life is constantly changing. Whether that be in your social arena, at the workplace or at school, change is inevitable. Emotional resilience can help you cope with new circumstances with less stress and anxiety. Rather than resisting change, resilient people adapt and flourish in change.
This is essential for success because it allows you to stay flexible in your approach. Emotional resilience lets you reframe your thoughts and seek out other alternatives if one approach is failing, without dwelling on what didn’t go as planned.
2. Bouncing Back from Failure
Everyone fails at some point. Emotional resilience is what sets the winners apart from those who fall by the wayside. The people who are naturally resilient understand that failure is a fundamental aspect of learning and growing. Instead of considering failure a dead-end, they should view it as an opportunity to learn and improve. The ability to recover from failure and try again is perhaps the most vital component of success.
Imagine a child learning to ride a bike. They stumble quite a few times, but are persistent in picking themselves up and realigning their centre of gravity so they can try again till they finally get it. Adults face similar challenges in work and relationships, and having the emotional strength to persevere makes all the difference.
3. Managing Stress and Pressure
Stress is a part of everyone’s life, but being overly stressed at the time of an important decision can bring about burnout and poor decision-making. Emotional resilience details to how we can deal with stressors and challenging situations—deep breathing, reframing thoughts or seeking the help of an ally.
High pressure environments, whether in the workplace or at home, require rapid thinking and emotional clarity. Emotional resilience enables one to keep cool under pressure, think logically and in a rational manner and avoid making impulsive and reckless decisions. The people who have a high level of emotional resilience usually share a healthy way of handling their stress and they lean on such decisions which actually align with their goals, rather than ones rooted in panic or fear.
How to Build Emotional Resilience
Even though it may appear that some people have in-born resilience, emotional resiliency is an essential quality that can be developed by anyone, no matter the age. As an inner child healing coach, I have been with people on their journey to build emotional resilience from childhood, recognizing how critical it is for long-term emotional well-being. At first, it may seem too difficult for a child to connect emotionally, but by engaging in fun and light activities, children can better express and understand their feelings. Here are some key ways to start building emotional resilience for both adults and children.
1. Develop Emotional Awareness
Understanding your emotions is the first step in developing resilience. You cannot control how you feel, but you can manage your feelings, and when you are aware of what is going on in your head.Start teaching children from an early age to identify their emotions and give them the language to speak about sadness, frustration or anger.For adults, emotional awareness involves reflection. Journaling, meditation, or simply taking a pause when overwhelmed can help build the habit of tuning into your emotions.
2. Cultivate a Growth Mindset
A growth mindset is one that believes that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and learning. Resilient people face adversity head-on and see setbacks as an opportunity to grow. This mindset is especially powerful in children, helping them view mistakes not as failures but as learning experiences.
Encourage your child or yourself to ask: “What can I learn from this?” This shift in perspective reduces fear and increases motivation to keep going, even in the face of adversity.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
Being kind to yourself is key to emotional resilience. When things go wrong, we often tend to be too hard on ourselves, but this just makes us less emotionally powerful. Self-compassion refers to the act of treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would be extending to a friend.
Self-compassion is when you learn to face that failure is one of the realities of life and that no one can be perfect. This new understanding of life helps you to get rid of the feelings of shame and guilt, allowing you to bounce back from challenges without being weighed down by negative self-talk.
4. Strengthen Relationships
Supportive relationships play a crucial role in emotional resilience. It might be friends, family, or mentors but having people to rely on when you’re going through tough times makes a huge difference. For kids, establishing connection with reliable adults helps them because they will be able to fall back to their security blanket when they experience emotional turmoil.
Building emotional resilience includes reaching out to others when you need support and help. It’s not about handling everything on your own but knowing that support is available when needed.
5. Take Care of Your Physical Health
Our emotional and physical health are deeply intertwined. Regular physical activity, good sleep, and a healthy diet can help develop emotional resilience. Our physical health impacts our mood and when left unaddressed can make us even more susceptible to stress and emotional overwhelm.
Encouraging children to stay active and maintain healthy habits gives them a strong foundation for managing their emotions and stress levels. The same is true for adults—taking care of your body can boost your mental and emotional health.
Emotional Resilience and Inner Child Healing
As an inner child healing coach, I have dealt extensively with clients who struggle with resilience because of unresolved childhood emotions. Childhood experiences play a great deal in building up the strength we develop to deal with any adverse situations later on in life. In turn, healing these deep inside wounds starts this process of building true emotional resilience from scratch.
If you or your child are looking to strengthen emotional resilience and tackle challenges with a more balanced approach, our Master Class on inner child healing offers guidance on developing these essential life skills.
The only basis of success, regardless of age, is emotional resilience. By developing the tools and skills to be able to apply them in your life, you can counter setbacks, adapt to change with ease, and ultimately thrive. Whether you teach it to your child or cultivate it within yourself, the journey will always be worth it.