By apurva 
Anger can be a tough emotion for kids to handle. It may be a mild annoyance or an emotional blowout, yet we must learn to help children deal with anger for their emotional well-being. Every child is different, but this remains true—for each of our children, we just want to help them understand their emotions and express those feelings in a healthy way.
Having worked as an inner child healing coach I have seen how these emotional patterns that were developed back in childhood are carried forward with people into adulthood. Providing them with ways to handle their anger now will help avoid more significant emotional issues down the road. So, here are a few tips that can help little ones deal with anger while fostering self-control and emotional growth.
1. Recognize the Signs of Anger
There are often warning signs before a complete meltdown happens. Children may clench their fists, begin to frown, or feel like their heart is racing. Thus, teaching them how to identify these early “red flags” allows them the opportunity to pause before their reactions get out of control.
- Tip for kids: When you start feeling like your body is tightening up or your face gets hot, those are signals that you are angry. Take a moment before you respond or react.
2. The Power of a Time-Out
Time-outs, while definitely a consequence for bad behaviour, are also a way for kids to chill out when the pressure gets too high and emotions are about to burst from the seams. Taking a break from the situation allows them to reset and come back calmer.
- Activity: Create a cozy “calm corner” at home where your child can go when they’re feeling upset. Stuff it with soft toys, a journal for writing, or calming activities like colouring.
3. Teach Deep Breathing Techniques
This small exercise can be a lifesaver for the kids. When emotions come up, deep breathing can help slow their heart rate and calm their mind. It’s simple, but it works wonders.
- How to: “Take a deep breath in like you’re smelling a flower, and then blow out like you’re blowing out birthday candles. Repeat that a few times until you feel more in control.”
4. Use Words, Not Actions
Children exhibit anger physically–by punching or kicking, throwing objects, or stomping around. Every time they get upset, it is crucial to remind them that their words are the most powerful weapon. Teaching them how to recognize and articulate their feelings gives them control over their emotions.
- Tip: Teach kids to use “I feel” statements, such as “I feel angry because my toy was taken.” This helps them express their anger without lashing out physically.
5. Encourage Healthy Outlets
Kids should have some way to burn off all the energy and frustration, so a little physical activity will definitely help. Encourage them to run, jump or even dance a little to handle their anger in a positive way.
- Activity idea: Have a mini “anger dance-off” with your child. It will help him/her burn some energy and turn a frustrating moment into something fun.
6. Create an Anger Journal
For kids who are old enough, writing down their feelings can be a great way to process what’s happening inside. Even if they don’t write, they can draw pictures of how they feel.
- Journal prompt: “Draw what your anger looks like. Is it a big monster or a fiery dragon? Then, draw how you want to feel after you calm down.”
7. Role-Playing Conflict Resolution
At times, children need to practise on how to handle conflicts. Role-playing events where they get pissed off and then resolve the situation calmly can help them in real life. This leaves room for them to practise what they will do the next time they are upset.
- Game idea: Stage a Scenario of Faking It — Take Your Child’s Toy. Then guide them in using words and problem-solving to express their feelings about what happened and help them figure out what they can do next.
8. Positive Reinforcement for Calm Behaviour
It is equally crucial to acknowledge and celebrate whenever children are able to use these strategies well to manage their anger. This helps, because positive reinforcement encourages them to continue using the healthy anger management strategies in the future.
- Tip for parents: When your child exhibits patience in an annoying or frustrating situation, acknowledge it: ‘Wow, I noticed how you took a deep breath when you were angry. That was great self-control!’”
9. Teach Problem-Solving Skills
Many times, Kids tend to lash out when they are in a situation and feel angry. Showing them how to handle such issues can help reduce their frustration. Divide the problem into easily manageable chunks and guide them to find a solution.
- Example: if they’re upset at not being able to find a favourite toy, redirect from frustrated feelings into problem-solving: “Okay let’s see. Where was the last place you had it? Should we check there first?”
10. Model Healthy Anger Management
Kids learn by watching how the adults around them handle their emotions. If you model calmness, they’re more likely to adopt those behaviours. It’s okay to show that you get angry too, but what’s important is how you deal with it.
- Tip: Talk through your own emotions with your child: “I’m feeling a little frustrated right now, but I will just take a deep breath and calm down. You can try this too!”
Conclusion
Kids get angry just like everyone else—it is a normal part of life, but at the same time they must learn how to deal with it. So when you educate your child on identifying emotions, expressing feelings in words, and using calming techniques you are seeding them for a lifetime of emotional management.
I am an Inner Child Healing Coach and I know firsthand that the sooner these emotions are addressed, the better. If you want to learn more on how to teach your child to understand and control their emotions, register for our Master Class and set yourself on a journey of self-growth. It’s designed to guide both you and your child through effective emotional management tools that go beyond anger.